Have you ever felt that the value of your time was determined by making money or feeling satisfied? Well if you're human like me, of course you have! If it doesn't make us happy or make us money, than we probably have decided that its not worth our time. Well brace yourself for this headliner... Your most valuable time cannot be weighed in gold or measured by happiness. Most of your valuable time will be spent on sacrifice weighed down by struggle. That has been the quintessential growing pain of pursuing purpose for me.
I found myself in a moment of critical self review, after "spending some time" watching a series of video blogs that led me to IG to follow 3 hosts, that led me to a virtual art show, which led me to a community of artists, and back to IG, another website, 5 links, and then to a YouTube interview, and back to IG to follow 4 more profiles, and finally to the disarray of thoughts in my head that began as feeling inspired.
Inspiration soon took a wrong turn and became questions of how will you become successful if you're watching everyone else? They're posting pics, quotes, art, and videos, doing their thing and you're "just looking, searching, and watching." I really told my self this foolishness. I then went on to say, "You won't make it because you're not consistent like them" (as I heard it in my head when an interviewer acknowledged his guest as consistent).
No sooner than I heard the word consistent I grabbed Jay Z's 1st book entitled DECODED and went to my favorite page... "That's the kind of consistency that you can get only by adding dead serious discipline to whatever talent you have."
I told myself "You don't have what it takes because you're not consistently posting on IG or writing your blog." Not to be gross, but this is the best illustration I have for this kind of half wit thinking, pardon me, buuuttt.... have you ever tasted vomit? Thats exactly what those words in my mouth tasted like to me. What a disgraceful thing to say. Says the artist born with a crayon and now 41 still creating her dreams. That 5 year old artist who made doll clothes from socks until age 16 and at age 38 introduced this favorite childhood past time to her 6 year old niece and spent hours playing and making clothes for dolls. And every niece born before her would get to know their Auntie this way, like Barbie or not! It still hurts me that 3 of my nieces was not felling Barbie and her pretentious life! Lol. Thank God for a Goddaughter who let me have my way. And lets not forget the years long after my grandparents planted God's talents in me, how I consistently created hand-made gifts for my mom with or without any reason or holiday. Just so I could say "Look what I made!" and she would be happy. Every creative moment at school since age-6, summer job 14, grocery job-19, church, family gatherings, internships, new job, new church, and those other creative adventures that provoked me to sacrifice and relocate from home, move away from family, my career, and my comfort zone. Those art schools in DC, Maryland, ATL, NY, Florence and Milan. That new mentor and creative director for Salvatore Ferragamo. The new boss and Brooklyn kid from Marcy projects, or the house you built in Atlanta, Ga. Can't forget about all those magazines you donated to create inspiring quotes on scrap boards with your 20+ room-mates at the women's shelter.
When I say internship, school, church, and family, that's non-paid-sacrifice-valuable time. When I say job, school, church, family, relocate, and shelter, that's struggle also known as valuable time. So when it comes to discipline and consistency, I can honestly say "I have ran this race, and through sacrifice and struggle, I have crossed many finish lines!"
I wont fail because I'm not consistent in all these other things that pays other people or makes other people happy. I will only fail if I give up on the Vision God Gave Me. And one other thing consistent about me is, "I don't know how to Give Up on Me!"